In marriage, it can be easy to coast. But God wants to take your marriage and use it as a gospel accelerator for His glory.
In the book of Acts, we see that Aquila and Priscilla did not have a mundane marriage. What steps can you take to have a marriage the matters?
Togetherness. A Desire to Do Life Together
Anytime they’re mentioned in the Bible, Aquila and Priscilla are always mentioned together. It’s never one without the other. This is not coincidental. It’s obvious that Aquila and Priscilla believed that God wanted to use them, together, as a married couple. And that’s how God wants it to be.
Too many married couples aren’t living like a married couple, they’re living like 2 people that live together. There’s a big difference between those 2 realities.
There’s a reason why God said to Adam:
“It is not good for him to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen. 2:18)
If Adam could do it all by himself, he wouldn’t have needed Eve. And if Adam just needed another dude alongside him to help him mow the lawn, God would have just made another dude to help him. But the final piece of God’s creation masterpiece, the crème de la crème, was a woman, Eve.
Together, Adam and Eve could have been a power couple for God’s agenda. But instead, in critical moments, they chose to live independently of each other.
In daily practice, husbands and wives should live dependent on each other, so in critical moments, a foundation of connectivity pre-exists.
This means:
- in our parenting, we ensure we have alignment.
- In the cultivation of our marriage, we‘re regularly making time for each other.
- In the areas where we’re struggling, we’re getting help.
Ask yourself:
- In your togetherness as a couple, where are you strong, and where are you weak?
- In what ways is your togetherness drawing people closer to Christ, particularly in your own home or family?
Adaptability: A Willingness to Go/Stay
When we look at the life of Aquila and Priscilla, we see them over the years going from place to place. Once because they had to, other times because they wanted to.
When they were forced to leave their home and relocate, they chose to do this in Corinth, where they likely continued on with the same profession they were practicing in Italy: making tents. It was undoubtedly a difficult situation, but it was a circumstance they could not change. They pivoted and got right back into business.
For a year and a half (Acts 18:11), Paul stayed in Corinth, likely pouring into this precious couple. And when it came time for Paul to move on to Ephesus, he brought Aquila and Priscilla with him (18:18-19). They were willing to go wherever for the gospel.
He was so confident in Aquila and Priscilla's abilities, that Paul left them in the Ephesian ministry, alone.
Usually, in marriages, you have one person who is more flexible than the other. One who likes change, and one who possibly abhors it. That’s ok – those are great factors that enhance togetherness.
What has to be avoided is a self-preservationist approach to changing circumstances:“Oh I’ll be flexible, as long as everything stays the way I like it!”
Early in our marriage, mentors of Rachel and I gave us a valuable lesson when it comes to adaptability:
“100% willing to stay. 100% willing to go.”
This is how Aquila and Priscilla lived.
- When they had to flee Rome, they did, trusting what God was going to do with that situation.
- When Paul asked them to come with him to Rome for a long-term mission trip, they did.
Their primary concern in life was using their lives and marriage to accelerate the gospel.
Would you be willing to undergo a radical life adjustment if it meant better fulfilling God’s will for your life?
- If God asked you to, would you be willing to uproot your life for something else?
- If God asked you to, would you be willing to become a support-raising missionary?
Mentorship: A Willingness to Reach Out to Others
Aquila and Priscilla were all about others. It seems that others, meeting other people’s needs and investing in others, were a major part of their lives.
While in Ephesus, because Paul left them there to advance the gospel, they came across Apollos, a preacher who could really preach!
Apollos is preaching in the synagogue, and Priscilla and Aquila are in the synagogue listening. Remember Priscilla and Aquila had been discipled under Paul for 1.5 years. They were likely well-versed theologically. When they heard Apollos eloquently only share part of the gospel story, they knew they had to do something.
So what was it they did? Maybe they…
- …came to him in the foyer after his message and they gave it to him good!
- …during the week, talked with their friends about Apollos and his bad message!
- ..kept the issue to themselves, stewed on it, and became increasingly bitter!
No. Look at Acts 18:26...“When Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately.”
It was an issue that needed to be addressed – but they handled it as family should. With respect. With love.
What was the result of their ministry in Apollos’ life? Apollos proudly said, “Who are these guys to correct me?” No – he listened and became a better minister for Christ (18:27-28).
The Greek tenses here tell us that they did this explaining together. It was Aquilla giving a theology lesson to Apollos, and it was Priscilla giving a theology lesson to Apollos. And potentially, because Priscilla is usually mentioned first, she was potentially taking the lead in this and in other ministry matters. And under the New Covenant, a woman has significant ability within the local church to serve and minister.
The point is, investing in others should be a major component of a Christ-centered marriage. That doesn’t mean you’re both in full-time ministry but it does mean you’re both doing ministry, and preferably a lot of that together.
Hospitable: A Desire to Use Your Resources for God’s Glory
Aquila and Priscilla had the mentality: “What we have is God’s”. They used their home to help Paul when he first came to Corinth.
Paul may not have been in a good place when he came to Corinth. Paul himself said when he landed in Corinth he came in weakness, fear and trembling, and he came alone. (1 Cor. 2:3). Aquila and Priscilla would have been so instrumental to help him while he got his Corinthian feet under him.
This would not be the only time Aquila and Priscilla helped Paul:
“Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus. They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them.” Rom. 16:3
Another translation: “For my life’s sake Priscilla and Aquila submitted their own throats to the knife.” - Bishop Handley Moule
They used what they had to help the gospel move forward. Even if it meant risking their lives.
They saw their home as being critical to furthering the gospel. When Paul sent a letter to the Roman Christians, he sent greetings to the church that met in Aquila and Priscilla’s house:
“Greet also the church that meets at their (Priscilla and Aquila) house.” Romans 16:5
When writing from Ephesus to the Corinthians, he spoke about Aquila and Priscilla's church in Ephesus:
“The churches of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Prisca, together with the church in their house, send you hearty greetings in the Lord.” 1 Cor. 16:19
What they had was to be used to accelerate the gospel. Likely their home was their greatest resource, and they wanted it to be used, along with everything else they had.
How do you build a gospel-accelerated marriage?
Togetherness. A Desire to Do Life Together.
Adaptability. A Willingness to Go/Stay
Mentorship. A willingness to reach out to others.
Hospitable. A desire to use your resources for God’s glory.
If you were to make one change in just one of these areas this week, which would it be? Would you?