Shepherding Your Kids away from Sexual Immorality: It Starts Early

The Scriptures are clear on the dangers of sexual immorality, and equally clear on the parental role in shepherding kids away from these hazards.  Sexuality outside of God’s plan never ends well.  Among other things, Proverbs says sexual immorality results in a life of ruin (5:14), disgrace (6:33), and loss of life (7:23).  No Gospel-driven parent would ever wish a life of ruin and disgrace on their kids. But shepherding your kids away from sexual immorality must be proactive, and parents need to realize it starts early.

Three noticeable chapters that highlight the irrevocable consequences of sexual immorality are Proverbs 5, 6, 7.  Each of these chapters focuses in on the path of immorality and how to avoid it. So, sexual disasters are avoidable, and the Bible gives direction on how this is possible.

Children Need to Be Trained to Listen Mom and Dad

In Proverbs chapters 5, 6, and 7, each section that speaks about avoiding sexual immorality starts the same way: children, listen to your parents (5:1-2; 6:20-23; 7:1-3).  But really, the admonition to children goes much deeper than that.  The guidance for children is to take what your parents are telling you and to treat it as the most precious treasure that you have in life.  Here’s how Proverbs 7 details this embracing of parental instruction:

“My son, keep my words
and treasure up my commandments with you;
keep my commandments and live;
keep my teaching as the apple of your eye;
bind them on your fingers;
write them on the tablet of your heart.”
(Proverbs 7:1-3)

Clearly, the Bible places high value on parental instruction.

Parents Are Passing Along Wisdom They’ve Acquired

The idea is that the wise parent who has acquired wisdom through the course of their life is passing this wisdom down to their children.  This will help their kids not make the same mistakes they did, and to show them paths of wisdom that they themselves had to learn.  The writer of Proverbs 5-7 believed that embracing parental instruction was the key to avoiding major life mishaps, such as sexual immorality.

Parents, helping your kids make wise choices when it comes to sexuality doesn’t start at puberty.  It starts much earlier than that.  It begins with teaching and training your kids at a very young age that Mom and Dad’s words:

• are important
• need to be listened to
• must be obeyed
• should be honored. 

Kids need to learn early the negative impact of not listening to Mom and Dad.  They need to realize the cause/effect pattern of sin that the Scripture consistently reiterates (see Galatians 6:7).  Children need to know that obedience to Mom and Dad is non-negotiable.  This training at very young ages produces good fruit in their later years.  Children that are gracefully taught at a young age that Mom and Dad are to be revered and honored will have a much easier time embracing that in their tween and teen years.

Not Requiring Listening?  Then What Are You Teaching?

Mom and Dad, when you don’t require listening and obedience of your child, when listening to Mom and Dad becomes an option, then you are teaching your child that listening to Mom and Dad is non-essential.  The result? You’re setting your child up for poor decision-making in the years to come.

Does this mean that little Johnny, who struggles with listening to Mom, is guaranteed to become an adulterer?  Obviously not.  The point of the whole book of Proverbs is guidance on a wise standard of living, where, if followed, will typically result in wise outcomes.  But even so, the wise parent will create a home environment where embracing parental guidance is sought and is closely monitored. Which, all things being normal and equal, will prevent moral blow-outs in the years to come.

A child who is not listening to their parent at age two may not seem like a big deal, but age two eventually becomes age 22.  At some point between two and 22, the child needs to embrace their parent’s voice.  The longer you wait to make that a reality, the harder it will become.  A teen’s lack of listening didn’t start at thirteen…it started years and years before that.

What’s Your Plan?

Parents: teach and train your kids to listen to your voice!  Save them from years of pain and hardship down the road!  Instruct them to listen to your voice now, to keep them from “the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words” (Prov. 7:5).

Scott D. Foreman is a former missionary to Canada’s youth, hosted a daily radio ministry, and currently serves as the Executive Pastor of Fellowship Bible Church. He and his wife Rachel have four boys.