Parents, Don’t Unwisely Assume Your Child is Saved

I think many parents unwisely assume their child is saved. And that is a dangerous assumption to make.

You would likely agree that for every person, there is no greater issue than what one does with the claims of Jesus. So what does that mean for us as parents?  If there is no greater issue than knowing what Jesus claimed and what we’re to do about that, is that a matter of urgency for us as parents?

I think many Christian parents, have good intentions regarding their child’s spiritual direction. Jesus is discussed, church is attended, and children’s and youth events are likely prioritized. And unfortunately, I think a lot of assumptions are made regarding their child’s understanding of Jesus’ claims, and actions/beliefs they have taken based on those claims.

Maybe you’ve heard the stats, but the number of teens that walk away from Christ once they leave the home is staggering.

Parents, the salvation of your child is far too important a matter to leave to assumptions.  You need to make the bringing up of your child in the teaching and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4) a number one priority.  In light of that consider some of the assumptions I believe well-intentioned parents make:

Assuming their child is saved because they prayed a prayer.

Prayers are good. Prayer said when trusting Christ is good.  But reciting a prayer in the hopes that it will get you to heaven is misplaced hope.  Trusting Christ is a decision of the heart and mouth (Romans 10:9-11), where we understand that God the Son came in the flesh (1 John 4:2), lived a perfect life (1 John 3:5), took our sin on him on the cross (2 Cor. 5:21), was risen from the dead (1 Cor. 15:4) and by trusting/believing in who Jesus is and what Jesus did, we will be saved (John 3:16).  The trusting component there is critical. You cannot be saved unless you are abandoning your righteousness/goodness and trusting in the God-Man, sin-bearing and resurrected Christ to save you.

Action Step: Talk to your kids about whether they believe they are going to heaven. If they “yes” ask them why they believe that.  If they say they believe they are going to heaven for any reason other than trusting in Christ, you need to share the gospel with them, that only their trust in Jesus, not their good works, will save them (Eph. 2:8,9).

Assuming their child is saved because they attend youth programs.

Parents can wrongly assume their child is saved because they are churchgoers.  Church attending can give a false assurance that because they are attendees, hearing about Jesus, they actually have a relationship with Jesus. The illustration is likely overused, but that is like believing you’re a car because you’re in a garage, or you’re a doctor cause you’re in a clinic, or you’re a Big Mac cause you’re in the McDonald’s drive-thru, or…..ok, you get the point. Youth programs and church are great…but youth programs don’t save.

Assuming their child is saved because they say they are.

A child may say that he is saved, but that does not mean he is. He may be able to look back at a spiritual moment in his life and believe he’s a Christ-follower, but that is not a good assumption. You likely know adults that say they’re saved, but you have serious questions about that.

Action Step: Don’t just take your child’s word for it; ask good questions about what they believe about Jesus and the time in their life when they placed their trust in Christ (or if they are trusting in Christ now for their salvation).

Assuming their child is saved because their parents are.

This may seem a little far-fetched, but I think it’s more of a problem than we realize.  “We’re Christians, we have brought our kids up in church, we have bibles in the home, grandma and grandpa are believers, so it’s likely that my child is a Christian.” Again, that’s a dangerous assumption to make. God has no grandchildren, only children. Your living, vibrant faith is no guarantee that your children possess the same faith.

Assuming their child is saved because they say religious things.

Parents, your kids may be talking a pretty good talk, but their hearts are far from God and need Him to save them (Matt. 15:8). Parents of tweens and teens, you may be shocked at the lifestyle of your child at their middle or high school; it may look nothing like how they are at home/around you. In the right environment, they say the right things, but when in school or with friends they could be sharing and living what they actually believe.  Don’t allow talk to deceive you, you need to see it in truthful, consistent actions (1 John 3:18). This leads me to the final assumption…

Assuming their child is saved, though there is no evidence.

When it comes to salvation, the proof is always in the pudding.  Genuine salvation always results in a changed life. Always. You simply cannot claim to be a Christian if you are not a new creature (2 Cor. 5:17). This doesn’t mean the moment you are saved you are immediately transformed into sinless perfection (that’s a lifelong process), but it does mean you have been given a new heart, new desires, a new trajectory in life, and a new Savior! Trusting Christ is truly transformative. 

And yet, for many people, there is no evidence of this new life. No evidence of being born again (John 3:3). They have no desire to worship Christ, witness for Christ, or live differently for Christ. Their passions are all about the things of the world.  Parents, that is not genuine conversion.  If your child has no desire to live for Christ, please do not assume they are a believer.  “Obedience is the only validation of your salvation. It is the only possible proof that you really recognize the Lordship of Jesus Christ.” (John MacArthur).

“Obedience is the only validation of your salvation. It is the only possible proof that you really recognize the the Lordship of Jesus Christ.”

John Macarthur

Look at what 2 Corinthians 13:5-6 says about this: “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!”

If you’re seeing a life that doesn’t resemble Christ-empowered transformation, it could mean they’re spiritually malnourished and in deep need of discipleship, or it could mean they’re not saved. 

Action Step: Error on the side of caution! Talk to your child about what you’re seeing, and help them to see that actions reveal genuine love for Christ (1 John 3:18).

Conclusion

Parents, don’t unwisely assume your child is saved.  Care enough about their spiritual direction to carefully examine their life, and prayerfully consider your next steps in shepherding them towards Christ.