Honoring Your Wife Is Important, But Done the Right Way

It was the slap heard around the world (by some live, and by most after on websites and media).

Last night at the Oscars, comedian Chris Rock took a jab at Will Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, and her baldness. Pinkett Smith has a condition that causes baldness. This caused an instantaneous reaction from Will Smith, who walked onto the Oscar stage and slapped Rock across the face on live TV.

Now, his method should have demonstrated more self-restraint (slapping someone is never appropriate). But it begs the question for the husband: what lengths would you go to, in a God-honoring way, to protect the honor of your wife?

The Bible Calls for Husbands to Honor

It reminds me of what Peter the Apostle said:

 “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7

God’s word puts great value on the sacredness of a husband defending his wife. He shows her honor by making sure that he, and others in their sphere, are showing respect and dignity to his wife. He’s making sure he’s not making jokes at her expense. He’s not allowing other people’s harsh language towards her to go unchecked. He treats her with worth, value, and the utmost respect.

As a dad, I had to teach this concept to my boys when they were young. There were many times that my boys (at very young ages) would use a tone or words towards my wife that was not acceptable. It was in those moments that I would get down on one knee, look them in the eye and say firmly “No one talks to my wife like that.” They got it. And they learned early that you cannot talk to your mother (my wife) however you want.

Husbands, can I give you a few suggestions based on 1 Peter 3:7 that can help us as we show greater honor to our wives?

“Live with your wives”

This speaks about physically living in the same house as my wife.

•Am I spending regular, focused time with her?
•Do I understand her schedule and life?
•Am I mindful of her exhaustion limits?
•Am I eagerly sharing my load of the chores?

“An Understanding Way”

This speaks about knowing my wife well, intellectually.

•Do I know the things that my wife likes/dislikes?
•Am I engaging her in meaningful conversation?
•Do I take an interest in what interests her?
•Do I ask her about what she’s thinking on lately?

“Showing Honor to the Woman”

This speaks about looking out for my wife’s emotional needs.

•What have I done lately to make my wife feel special?
•How am I encouraging her dreams and aspirations?
•Am I engaging in non-sexual love and affirmation?
•Am I making it possible for her to ‘unwind’?•

“So that your prayers may not be hindered.”

This speaks about encouraging my wife spiritually.

•Am I encouraging my wife in her time in the Word?
•Are we praying through issues together?
•Am I setting a good example through my walk with God?
•Are we serving together in an area of our church?

What’s Your Plan?

So the goal here men is not to make excuses; it’s to realize we all need forward progress in these areas. And we’re willing to make changes in our patterns to demonstrate greater honor towards our wives.

Here is a graphic that combined all the questions above. Maybe you could print it out and put it somewhere as a reminder?