Are You Afraid Of Others Opinions?

Are you afraid of others and their opinions of you? If you say “No”, you’re likely in denial.

When you go out you ‘have to’ dress a certain way.

When you talk to certain people you ‘have to’ talk a certain way.

When you hear people gossiping, you feel compelled to jump in, not wanting them to think you’re better than them.

And on and on it goes.

Without even realizing it, you can allow people to control you in ways the Scripture would consider unbiblical (i.e. unhealthy). I was considering this as I was doing my Quiet Time in 1 Samual 15, where King Saul disobeyed a specific command of the Lord because the army that was under him wanted to do things different. So he gave in, because he feared them (1 Sam. 15:24).

Every human battles with allowing other people’s opinions to control them. If you think you don’t, you’re likely unaware of this blind spot in your life. Here’s a few ways I think we can allow people, even subtly, to controls us:

Ways We Allow People to Control Us

• Speaking the truth in love is very difficult, if not impossible.
• You apologize for things you never should be apologizing about.
• The opinions of the wrong people weigh heavily on you (but the opinions of the right people do not).
• You have a sense of guilt (that you refuse to deal with) over how you’ve disappointed people in the past.
• You believe people persistently judge you (though you have no evidence of this).
• Your emotional reactions often hinge on other people’s reactions (if they laugh, I laugh. If they believe something is sad, I better be sad too).
• Your external get up (clothing, shoes, make-up, etc) are non-negotiable. You cannot leave your house unless you look a certain way.
• You continually fish for affirmation from people, failing to see your acceptance in Christ.
• You tell certain people what you think they want to hear in order to impress them.
• You are afraid to tell people “No”.
• You act one way around this group of people, but another way around this group of people.

The gospel communicates to us that we were lost, rebellious, evil, wicked people. And in that state Christ died for us. And when we accept God’s free gift of forgiveness by accepting the sacrifice and resurrection of His Son, there is a change in relationship that happens between us and God. God places us in Christ, and extends to us all the rights, privileges and blessings that come along with that. Just as Jesus is accepted and has eternal standing before God, we do too. We are now, eternally, the sons and daughters of God (see Galatians 3:26). It really is a marvelous truth.

You Have Status Before God!

Because of this status before God (through/in Christ) we should be thinking differently about ourselves. Not arrogantly, but confidently. We now have a boldness and a confidence because we are accepted by God (see Romans 8:1 and Hebrews 4:16). As we continue to meditate on these truth and allow the Holy Spirit to point out opinion “shackles” in our lives, we can repent of this fearful approach to man pleasing and change our thinking towards gospel-centered truths. The believer can truly say: “In Christ I am accepted, and thus, my thinking, living, and approach towards others has a radically different perspective.”

Will You Allow the Truth of Who You Are To Control You?

Consider these Scriptures as I wrap up this post:

Proverbs 29:25: The fear of people becomes a snare, 
but whoever trusts in the Lord will be set on high. 

Psalm 118:8: It is better to take shelter in the Lord
than to trust in people.

Isaiah 26:3: You keep completely safe the people who maintain their faith,
for they trust in you.

Conclusion

So, what about it? The ‘opinion shackles’ that exist in your life need to be crushed and replaced with your standing in Christ. Why not ask God to help you realize where people have a stranglehold on you, and ask Him to help you begin to change your thinking towards embracing and living your status in Christ?

Scott Foreman is the Executive Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Mullica Hill, New Jersey.  He has been active in full-time vocational ministry for over 20 years as a Camp Director, Radio Host, Missionary and now Pastor.  You can follow him here at The Ministry Dad, and also on Twitter: @scottdforeman.